Wednesday, July 31, 2013

toddler tantrums are normal, right?

I had to run a few errands today after work. I thought it would be fun to take Emmy with me. (Why do I continue to think that!?)

She had a long day at daycare and because her lame mother forgot to pack another spare outfit, her teachers had to dig up her old spare which happened to be a 9-month size. She's in 18 months now. It was a bit tight. She was hot and tired but I dragged her to the car wash and then Staples for a few supplies. 

Ever since Emmy learned to walk, holding her has been pretty impossible. I let her walk the aisle while I shopped pens (I have a pen problem) and tracked her down just before she attempted to walk up one of those tall, "employee only" stock ladders of death. One point for mom. 

Every time I picked her up, she fought and wiggled until I let her down and she would jet off towards the back of the store. All the pens, the perfectly smooth paper, bright post-its and clitchy office decor kept distracting me so I would let her just barely out of sight. The store was mostly empty but I would jog after her, pick her up and well... repeat. 

After maybe 10 minutes, I decided to check out. As I was waiting in line, she managed to pull down crackers, pens and gum so I was back to holding my wiggly child, purse, and loot. As we checked out she started making weird growling noises and tried to press all the buttons on the card payment thing. If I told her "No" she'd withdraw her hands and growl again. I looked up to the cashier to apologize and she was making a disapproving face to the cashier behind me. Like, "this kid is bad and this mother is negligent". I smiled and said, "she's had a long day and she's wearing 2 sizes too small to boot! ha ha" and... nothing.

As we walked out, Emmy waived goodbye to the cashier who didn't waive back. This was the first time someone wasn't adoring her, telling me how sweet and pretty she is, and interacting with her directly. I don't blame the cashier, she clearly doesn't have kids and she doesn't understand how their moods change without having learned social discipline to hide it. 

What this made me think about was how many times I saw kids behaving badly and quickly decided that the parents were too lenient. Sometimes, I'm sure they were but parenting is harder than I thought it would be. 

I haven't spanked Emmy yet. Honestly, I'm afraid to. 

I can't bare the look of hurt in her eyes. I don't want her to fear me yet. Maybe that's selfish. I know how important it is to teach her how to behave. My parents spanked me and I know there were many times the fear of their discipline reinforced my choice to do right over wrong. Does Emmy know right and wrong yet? I think she knows more than we give her credit for. 

When she acts out, hits us, screams, or throws something we tell her NO. Sometimes she cries, sometimes she laughs and occasionally she just walks away. We tried "time out" after she attempted to bite Joe and she laughed and played in her chair. We felt dooped. It was also a little scary seeing our perfect, sweet little girl doing something mean. 

I know that this is normal, I know that we can teach her to behave when she is frustrated or bored. It's just.. I guess we are really parents now. My babysitting days are over. 

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

emmy's new moves

Tonight Joe and I put on some classical music after dinner and the moment it started, Emmy began twirling! She has been rocking on her feet and bopping her head for a while but her new moves makes us smile. She's got such a happy, free spirit - our little dancer!




Thursday, July 18, 2013

school time


Isn't that just the sweetest smile you've ever seen?!

Emmy started with a new teacher at her day care about a month ago and we are so in love with her! She is a sweet, no nonsense woman. I have been looking forward to getting in her class because I've seen her with other kids and she is the perfect teacher. She is fun and joyful, allowing the kids to play and freely roam throughout her room. She is often found with two kids in her lap, reading them a book while the others go about their own interests. 


The thing I love most about her, though, is her stern side. She isn't mean and she never yells at the kids but she knows what they are capable of learning and she encourages them to be obedient, helpful and to listen. I noticed Emmy's behavior changing almost immediately so I asked her teacher to teach me as well. I want to reinforce her rules to make it easier on everyone. 


When we fix her bottle Emmy promptly sits down to wait for it. When she makes a mess, we point at it and say "Pick it up!" and she does. She runs around picking up books and bringing us toys that she wants us to play with or read to her. It's hard to explain how quickly her communication is developing now, she understands our requests and compliments and tries to repeat them leading to the sweetest mumbo jumbo of vowels and consonants. 


Everything is easier now. Joe and I rarely debate chores. We have  a routine that is comfortable for everyone and Emmy's sweet and silly nature make her such a joy to be around.


Most days go something like: 

7:00 Joe showers
7:30 I wake Emmy 
8:00 Joe takes Emmy to school
9:00 I leave for work
4:30 I leave to pick Emmy up
5:30 I get home and start dinner
5:45 Joe gets home and we eat
6:15 Family time
7:00 Bath and bedtime cuddling (better known as Emmy wallering time)
8:00 Emmy goes to bed

We are a little spoiled because of my work schedule. I like that I get some time in the morning to myself, to get ready without a kid pulling on my pants or curiously putting all of my makeup in her mouth to see what it feels like. It really makes me feel fresh and brighter about my day. 


I spend most days looking forward to the time when we get home and have our family time. I know this sounds cheesy. As I type this, I'm thinking.. who are you? and shut the hell up, no way is life this perfect! And it's not! Believe me. But today it was. Most days it is really great. Most of the time we are so happy and I can't imagine it will ever be easier and more enjoyable than this. Life really is laughing and loving for now so yeah, I'm going to be cheesy and I'm going to appreciate it because I know it won't last forever. 


 Here is a little clip of Emmy being goofy during cuddle time...


   


Bell doesn't even have to bark for her to give us her "surprised" look - if we mention Bell, she gives us this look and starts laughing which gets us all laughing too.