Becoming a mom isn't an overnight process. Well, I guess it literally is an "overnight" process but feeling like a mom takes a little longer.
Emmy woke up two nights ago choking on snot. I spent the rest of the night hovering over her, changing her position and sucking the snot out with the bulb. It was terrifying and I felt so bad for her. We took her to the doctor first thing in the morning. The doc said she was fighting a little viral infection, which she caught from me (I thought it was just allergies) but since I had been breast feeding, she should get over it soon. All we had to do was put saline drops in her nose and suck out the snot until it passed. Easy enough.
Night 2: Joe was up till 1:30 repeating night 1. He has to go to work so he woke me up and I took over until dawn. It's not just that she can't breathe well, it's that she is trying to sleep but she can't so I'm doing everything I can to make her comfortable so she can sleep longer than 10 minutes at a time. We let her sleep in the bed with us. Don't judge me, how else can I watch her every move and listen for every breathe? Joe and I slept in one tiny corner on the other side. One hand rubbing her back, the other gripping the bulb at the ready - yes, I can sleep like that (apparently).
Strangely enough, I feel more like a mom taking care of my sick baby than I ever have. I fight her for her snot. We get it loose and I'm in there, bulb, wipes, and fingers trying to get her bogies out before she can suck them back in. Is it grossing you out? It's not grossing me out. I think that's how I just became a mom.
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