be kind

Sometimes, I think we forget that people have feelings. 

All of us. That person standing next to you in line at the DMV, the boy bagging your groceries, your neighbor, your husband, your coworkers and even your boss. Everyday we pass people and we forget that they are actually people, living a whole life and having feelings. We affect each other. We can't help it, we're sensitive beings.

I got to thinking about how there is this one person I don't like. I think she is selfish and disrespects other people, she is rude, back stabbing and inconsiderate (let me tell you how I really feel). Then I thought about how she might say that about everyone else. How it might hurt her feelings that she is unliked, unappreciated, disrespected, how people talk about her and how, more than anything, she is misunderstood.

Joe was the first man to teach me how boys are human, how they have feelings and can be hurt. My dad was a sensitive man but I was unsure of boys. I didn't think they were insecure like me. My parents told me I intimidated boys but surely all parents tell their kids that. I found out later that I could be intimidating and I liked to do it intentionally just for fun. 

I remember the first time I hurt Joe's feelings. It was our first fight and I had told him he wasn't "man enough" to stand up to the fraternity guys who kept walking through his room while we were watching a movie. He said, "FINE. THE NEXT PERSON WHO WALKS IN THAT DOOR IS GETTING PUNCHED IN THE FACE". Then a girl walked in and he gladly showed her the way to the bathroom. We both laughed and got over it.  After that, I usually did it when my feelings were hurt but I was too prideful to admit it so I would go all cold eyes and say something I didn't mean to get a reaction, to make him hurt like me. 

The thing is, it's not just the people we love that we hurt. Sometimes, it's that bagger who asked about your day and you ignored, it's the elderly man who tries to talk to you in line and you just stare at your phone and pretend you can't hear him. It's your coworker who is always coming up short on their job, sitting there coping with depression and finding it hard to look forward to another day in the office. 

I don't have many bad things in my life. Sometimes I forget that other people do. Some people are fighting real battles and they have real feelings that I can hurt.

I think we should instate a "feelings appreciation day" to remember to be nice to each other. To help one another, even if you are the one always doing the helping. Even if that person doesn't seem to appreciate you. You never know who is standing on the edge of the battle, teetering on the edge and wondering if it's worth the fight anymore. Sometimes it only takes a smile, a small gesture of kindness to give them one more day in the fight.