5 month photos

I'm not sure captions are necessary - just check out how stinkin' cute this kid is.

I managed to get my sister into one of the pictures... isn't she beautiful!? Thank you lil' sis for taking these amazing pictures of Emmy! 

you NEED this.

Seriously... I bought this on a whim, per this blog's recommendations on making your own baby food:

Boon Squirt via Amazon

In one feeding, Emmy's meals went from water torture (for me) to a regular toddler feeding. I added another variable this time that I can't ignore: I allowed her to eat leaning back on her boppy rather than sitting up in her chair. This was definitely important but the boon spoon is genius!

I loaded it up with 75% of a gerber carrots tub. I squeezed it in and she swallowed it. It went into her mouth and she ate it. I can't explain the joy of something so simple. Then, a miracle occurred: she placed her hand on mine and repeatedly brought the spoon to her mouth, opened her mouth (I squeeze), she swallowed a bit, then pushed my hand back so she could smack/swallow. Repeat x 100. 

I was so excited, hysterically laughing and cheering her on. I just felt compelled to let other people know of this little guy, a red-hot sexy feeding machine known intimately as the "squirtster".

the working mom

A working mom's daily load...

I've been thinking about this post a lot lately.

As Emmy is getting older, she is becoming more and more fun. She is watching us move around the room, she gets excited when we talk to her and hold her. This morning, I didn't want to let her go. Joe was taking her to "school" and I thought about my day and almost decided to stay and work from home with her.

But that's really hard to do. I have a great job, I probably take it for granted sometimes. I basically work for myself, I work hard and all of my work is my own. I try to have a good teamwork attitude and help others where I can but I am not required to be in the office anymore. Oddly enough, I like being in the office. I am good at my job and I know that's because I work hard and I certainly work better without distractions.

Staying at home has never been an option for me. I have the utmost respect for women who stay at home. I know from the short time I stayed home to recover and take care of Emmy that it is hard work. Believe it or not, it's not all watching "Ellen" and the "Today Show" (this is what I was expecting) babies are work. 

Worst of all, I found staying at home to be unrewarding.

There. I said it. Being a mom didn't give me enough gratitude. Does that make me selfish? Probably. 

Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed my time with Emmy but at the end of the day no one had said "thank you" or "great job on that diaper, you really cleaned her butt so efficiently!". 

At my job, I am complimented and appreciated. That's where my confidence comes from: my work. I learned to have a good work ethic at a young age. My mom always worked, she taught us to work too. Sometimes I had wished she would stay home more but that wasn't really until I was older. Especially when I was in middle school, old enough that my sister and I could be left at home alone but too young to go anywhere on our own. I really hated the summers because they were so boring. My parents left for work and Courtney and I spent the day playing dolls, watching tv and cleaning the house (yes, we started the day with a list of chores and had no idea that this isn't what ALL kids did during the summer. We were suckers). 

I'm not telling this sad, sad story to get your sympathy (unless, of course, you are my mom reading this and then yes, mom, you ROBBED me of my childhood, how dare you?) Oh, BTW, can I have 10 bucks?

This is about being a good mother.

I did learn from a few of my parent's mistakes. They got caught up in work. They came home stressed out, exhausted and no matter how much they loved us, we felt their tension and it made us a little afraid of them. We were afraid we might upset them more so we scurried around cleaning the house so they wouldn't get mad. I don't want to do that, I hope to find an inner-peace with a messy house soon because the pressure I put on myself to keep it clean is not worth it. 

My parents were young and they have warned my sister and I about making this mistake. My mom is still a work-a-holic and I have some of her tendencies but I make time for Emmy and I leave the stress at work. I spend my mornings lying in bed with Emmy, watching the Today Show and sipping coffee while tickling her toes. My rule is that as long as she is awake, we are a happy family with no problems. Once she goes to sleep, I'm back on my laptop sending e-mails and crunching numbers. 

To all the working moms out there: it's okay, we are good moms too. 
To all the stay at home moms: thank you, you're doing a great job.

My first day back to work, Emmy's first day at daycare

random story from england

So, this strange thing happened to Joe and I while we were in England on our honeymoon. There were so many fun things that happened on that trip that I'm not sure we ever told anyone about the "strange thing". 

This was maybe the 4th or 5th day of the trip. We had just left London, I think it was maybe our 2nd night in Oxford. We were strolling around and I was looking for an ice cream shoppe I had remembered being particularly good and I kept telling Joe he just HAD to try it. A short walk later, we found ourselves in a Ben & Jerry's (I said it was good, I didn't say it was original). 

We started to walk back towards the College and our hotel, on St. Giles Street and decided to stop and sit on a bench to eat our ice cream and talk. I have, below, a picture of this exact bench:

copyright: wikipedia

As we were sitting there, a car pulls right in front of us (see that little street cutting around the memorial?) and a black guy gets out and runs towards us, his car parked but still running. 

Now, do not think I am a racist because I was scared and immediately gripped my purse. Who wouldn't be scared of a man running towards you in a foreign country?! 

He stopped in front of us and said, "I have to tell you, you are so blessed. I can see it. You are blessed ones. I just, I see it and I had to tell you" and like that he turned around back to his car. I sort of mumbled thank-you as he started to drive off. Joe and I looked at each other and laughed about halos and glowing orbs around our bodies but I'm not going to lie, I was flattered. 

The thing is, the guy didn't seem that crazy. He didn't want anything from us, he didn't give us a religious pamphlet to study and he didn't even reference who his God was. 

When I found out I was pregnant a month later, I thought about this moment and how it had been 2 nights after we conceived. So... maybe he knew we were blessed with a baby? Maybe he knew that we were going to have the best baby in the world and that she would make our lives full. 

I'll never know if that guy was someone special, if he was in touch with God, if he believed in telling people that they were special, or if he was just bat-shit crazy. But I'll tell Emmy this story when she gets older, about how a man found us in a foreign country and saw how she would make our lives special and how important she is to God.

the personality of a name

Emmy & Grammy

For a while, I couldn't explain why I liked this picture so much. 

Emmy isn't exactly smiling and her outfit makes her look a little like a boy (don't get me wrong: I love this outfit). But then it hit me, I love that I can see in her eyes a preview of her personality.

Emmy is the sweetest baby in the world, this is a non-negotiable fact and I have no idea where she gets it.

I'd like to say that we are doing something as parents to make her laid back and sweet natured but I know that's not true. She is just a happy kid and every now and then, like in this picture, I lock eyes with her and I see that she is so much more than a sweet girl. She is going to be incredible, we know this because it's in her name

We gave Emmy two names because I think names have a lot to do with personalities. We chose "Emmy" in part because my boss's wife's name is Emmy and I adore her, everyone does. She is a sweet and strong independent-minded woman. Exactly the kind of woman I would want my daughter to be. But "Emmy" is a nickname and Joe was adamant that we have a "real" name too. I've always liked Amelia until a recent BBC America series of Doctor Who made me LOVE it. 

The Doctor's companion is named Amelia Pond and she is an adventurous Scottish ginger with a quick, witty sense of humor and incredible bravery. I love her character so much and we knew we would be arming our daughter with our hopes for her in her name: to be sweet but strong, brave and maybe a little witty too. 

Oh, and in case you think I'm crazy, I do understand that Emmy will be who she is. That doesn't mean I can't imagine what she might be like or give her the confidence to find the strength to be herself. 

Amelia Pond on the TARDIS.
Her real name is Karen Gillan, my mom's name is Karen so how perfect is that!?