the working mom

A working mom's daily load...

I've been thinking about this post a lot lately.

As Emmy is getting older, she is becoming more and more fun. She is watching us move around the room, she gets excited when we talk to her and hold her. This morning, I didn't want to let her go. Joe was taking her to "school" and I thought about my day and almost decided to stay and work from home with her.

But that's really hard to do. I have a great job, I probably take it for granted sometimes. I basically work for myself, I work hard and all of my work is my own. I try to have a good teamwork attitude and help others where I can but I am not required to be in the office anymore. Oddly enough, I like being in the office. I am good at my job and I know that's because I work hard and I certainly work better without distractions.

Staying at home has never been an option for me. I have the utmost respect for women who stay at home. I know from the short time I stayed home to recover and take care of Emmy that it is hard work. Believe it or not, it's not all watching "Ellen" and the "Today Show" (this is what I was expecting) babies are work. 

Worst of all, I found staying at home to be unrewarding.

There. I said it. Being a mom didn't give me enough gratitude. Does that make me selfish? Probably. 

Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed my time with Emmy but at the end of the day no one had said "thank you" or "great job on that diaper, you really cleaned her butt so efficiently!". 

At my job, I am complimented and appreciated. That's where my confidence comes from: my work. I learned to have a good work ethic at a young age. My mom always worked, she taught us to work too. Sometimes I had wished she would stay home more but that wasn't really until I was older. Especially when I was in middle school, old enough that my sister and I could be left at home alone but too young to go anywhere on our own. I really hated the summers because they were so boring. My parents left for work and Courtney and I spent the day playing dolls, watching tv and cleaning the house (yes, we started the day with a list of chores and had no idea that this isn't what ALL kids did during the summer. We were suckers). 

I'm not telling this sad, sad story to get your sympathy (unless, of course, you are my mom reading this and then yes, mom, you ROBBED me of my childhood, how dare you?) Oh, BTW, can I have 10 bucks?

This is about being a good mother.

I did learn from a few of my parent's mistakes. They got caught up in work. They came home stressed out, exhausted and no matter how much they loved us, we felt their tension and it made us a little afraid of them. We were afraid we might upset them more so we scurried around cleaning the house so they wouldn't get mad. I don't want to do that, I hope to find an inner-peace with a messy house soon because the pressure I put on myself to keep it clean is not worth it. 

My parents were young and they have warned my sister and I about making this mistake. My mom is still a work-a-holic and I have some of her tendencies but I make time for Emmy and I leave the stress at work. I spend my mornings lying in bed with Emmy, watching the Today Show and sipping coffee while tickling her toes. My rule is that as long as she is awake, we are a happy family with no problems. Once she goes to sleep, I'm back on my laptop sending e-mails and crunching numbers. 

To all the working moms out there: it's okay, we are good moms too. 
To all the stay at home moms: thank you, you're doing a great job.

My first day back to work, Emmy's first day at daycare