emmy in the hospital

Let's start with a brief history of the past week: Tuesday, December 4th we noticed Emmy coughing a lot and by 7pm she had a fever. I could feel something rattling in her chest when she breathed and knew it was time to go to the doctor. We took her in mid-day on Wednesday and she was diagnosed with bronchiolitis. The doctor gave us albeterol and I stayed home with her on Thursday and she did great, napping and playing but running out of breath a little easily. I gave her a breathing treatment every 4 hours and that seemed to help. That night, she got worse fast. Her fever popped up and her breathing was really fast. She kept crying because she couldn't sleep and when I held her to my chest she felt like hot jello. We got scared and took her to the Children's ER at 1am. 

The Children's hospital in Birmingham has recently been remodeled and is beautiful. The private room we got in the ER was sufficient and clean. The nurses said Emmy's oxygen level was low but suctioned out her nose and wanted to keep her off oxygen as long as possible. I didn't understand why they were hesitant until they put her on it. She screamed and cried and screamed some more for 4 hours straight. She HATED that thing in her nose. By mid-morning she wore herself and we were able to get her to sleep although she would only sleep if we were holding her.

We got a real room around 1pm on Friday and I was excited to see the new rooms until we found ourselves in the old building, one floor under the one currently being renovated (as in, it occassionally sounds as if bricks are falling on our ceiling). Our room that overlooks a concrete wall so we don't get daylight. The furniture is old, the pleather worn and ripped and uncomfortable as hell. You may think since I am describing this in the beginning that it was my main concern. It wasn't. I walked in like "I can make this work, all that matter is that Emmy gets better. It'll just be a day or two. It's like camping without any fresh air." 

The first day was rough, she was sweating and crying all day. Her fever would spike and they kept her on motrin and oxygen. By Friday night she was breathing better at was able to come off the oxygen for short periods. She wasn't able to get enough liquids so they had to start an IV. She did surprisingly well with it and it definitely perked her up a bit.

 I started to get excited on Saturday when the doctors said her lungs sounded much better but her congestion was still preventing her from reaching good oxygen levels. Then her fevers came back and they discovered another ear infection. We started to think we may be able to leave on Sunday. Unfortunately, her O2 levels dropped again and she needed oxygen. 

On Sunday her attitude turned around completely. She started laughing and smiling. We danced like monkeys around her crib just to get a laugh. Her IV fell out and they let it stay out since she started eating again. My mom told me not to get my hopes up but I already started imagining her home in her bed, me taking her to the park to watch Rufus run and getting her some fresh air. Joe's mom stayed Sunday night so Joe and I could get some rest. At 10 pm we found out they wanted to put the IV back in. Not long after that, she had to go back on oxygen. We felt like we were taking steps backwards and it took some mind-manipulating to convince myself that it was actually going to help her get better quicker. 

I was happy to stay Monday night. I brought a lamp from home and we made ourselves comfortable. Emmy was up until 10 dancing and crawling but once she fell asleep we only had to wake up to help a nurse or to walk off the bruises we were getting from the planks poking through the hospital couch-beds. At midnight her oxygen fell out and she was able to keep her O2 above 90 most of the time. I woke up at 6am so excited. The O2 was officially off, she was sleeping and her levels were high enough. We were going home!! 

NOT. By the time the doctors came in at 10am her levels started to drop, she was dozing for a nap and we couldn't keep her levels up. I honestly think that the doctors stress her out and that's part of it but it didn't matter, we weren't going home. I cried. I begged the doctor to consider the value of daylight, fresh air and her own bed as valuable tools to heal someone. She agreed but said we don't have oxygen at home and a humidifier won't suffice for her. We could wake up to find a blue baby. She could still develop pneumonia and she needed constant monitoring. I think we understood each other and I am still coming to terms with her decision. 

I keep asking myself, am I being selfish because I want to go home? Shouldn't I trust the doctors to make the best decisions? I try not to get cynical and wonder if the doctors are just following a written protocol to avoid lawsuits. I don't have anything against Children's Hospital. The nurses and doctors have been great. The facility is already working on remodeling and although I hope I'm never back I'm sure that if I am it will be a much nicer stay. 

We are still at the hospital so I'll have to follow-up with another post after the emotions have settled. I am also excited to do a post about a Hospital survival kit to help anyone else who gets stuck in the hospital with a sick child. A happy mommy and daddy will make a happier and healthier baby so tonight I'm going to pack all the things I've been trying to do without. I don't care if it's just one more night. I'm going to be comfortable and I should have started off that way.