I get kind of weird about new year's resolutions. I wonder what's the point and I don't believe half the people who make them have the slightest intention of keeping them.
I get this way about giving things up for lent too. People do it for all the wrong reasons and then they inevitably fail. I start to think I'm too good for all that. This year, I kind of want a do-over. I want to make a resolution with myself to use a new year as a chance to start over and change a few things.
What am I starting over? Everything kind of. 2012 was great, don't get me wrong. I gave birth (and rocked it), I have smiled more than ever in my life watching my little girl develop her personality, I've been more successful on the career front than I ever would have hoped and we were able to take care of some debt despite the $800/month paid to daycare.
So, I want to start over myself. I was the only thing I didn't like about 2012. I didn't lose the baby weight like I should have. I didn't exercise. Like, ever. Maybe twice. I didn't cook as healthy as I know I can (I like to cook healthy food but I was just too lazy and cheap). And, most of all, I wasn't a good wife. I'm going to work on me and hope that Joe sees it. He thinks I'm too reactive and I get upset too easily so I'm going to work on that. Damn, that feels honest and embarrassing at the same time.
I've already started and even though I began my day dragging loads of boxes to the street because I didn't want to nag Joe, it felt good that there wasn't a fight. I rejoined the YMCA and I am going to find time to go. I actually like exercising (as long as I am not cold, hot, bored or being yelled at). I'm getting my thyroid removed on the 14th. I'm going to focus on watching my body very carefully as I transition to synthroid to make sure I am not too irritable with others as my energy fluctuates.
When I glance up I see a lot of "I's" but don't let that confuse you.
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