happiness

The Happy Movie

Joe and I watched a documentary called "Happy" tonight. We were about to turn on Indiana Jones for the 100th time but a coworker had recommended this about a year ago so we gave it a shot. You should definitely watch this movie. It is (not surprising here) about happiness and what really makes people happy. Is it money, success, fame, family? Yes and no. What I got out of this is that it's dopamine. And, to get that dopamine pumping, you have to exercise, be kind and compassionate, love and laugh. 

It's weird how I know that exercise will make me happier yet I never feel like doing it. I think that goes back to doing exercise for the sake of losing weight. I don't like that. In this movie, people weren't "working out" they were surfing, gardening, running, hunting and playing games. I loved walking around London, New York and DC. I enjoyed watching people and being surrounded by the beautiful architecture. I love to ski. Every chance I have ever had to ski I have done it all day, until my arms and legs were jello and then I got up and did it some more. Everyone needs to find something physical that they enjoy doing and make it happen. I'm going to have to find something new since skiing and walking aren't so fun in Alabama.

I've always believed that happiness was mostly perspective. My job isn't particularly glamorous but I find ways to be happy about it. i like my coworkers, I like my freedom and I like getting to know new people all the time. It's hard work. It is stressful and there are many times I have to tell people bad news. But it wouldn't be work if it was all good. The documentary focused on poor people who were found to be very happy with what they had. They put such a large emphasis on their family and the love they shared made them happy. One guy's job was to literally run barefoot on rocky and dusty roads carrying up to 3 people in a cart behind him. He was so happy because this job allowed him to provide for his family and he was proud of that. 

There were also bits about how Japanese people work so hard that they have become the world's unhappiest population. Denmark ranked as the happiest population and the documentary gave credit to free healthcare and education through college as well as a fairly common communal living practice. I would love to visit Denmark and see what else it might be, I'm not buying those reasons. 

When other people have talked about being depressed, it has always been hard for me to relate. The closest I came to being truly depressed was shortly after I had Emmy. It was a case of "baby blues" exasperated by the hormonal ups and downs caused by breast feeding. I made the decision to quit breast feeding so that I would be happier. It worked and I can look back and laugh at myself for being so sensitive. I'm not going to post advice for people who are legitimately depressed for this reason. 

I do think that the movie left one thing out: that the key to happiness is also to look forward. It was a common factor that linked many of the happy individuals. They talked about their future, their goals, who they wanted to be and what they wanted to do. People who focus on the past can't find happiness. If you think about the mistakes you made, the things you did or didn't do, the things you were not given or the love that you didn't have... you will not find happiness there. You can only find it by deciding that your past cannot hurt you now. You can be anything you want to be today and tomorrow is always a fresh start.