sunday afternoon

My mom kept Emmy for Joe and I last night so we could go watch the Bama game with friends. As we were driving home Joe admitted that he already missed her. We woke up early and got ready for church and remembered the good ole days when all you had to do was get yourself clean. Nobody pulling at your pants, wanting to play with your makeup or dragging your clean clothes all over the house. It was also kinda dull. I don't know how we were happy before we had her, what did we do with all that time!? 

I barely made it halfway through church when I pulled her out of the nursery to come join us. While the boys went to get the cars, we went out to the little garden behind the sanctuary and took a few pictures. I just love my new camera. It's a pain to carry something so large and fragile but there is no way I could capture moments like this without it. After church we went to lunch at the Summit. Emmy didn't last long, her nap 2 hours past due, but I was able to get a few pics of everyone playing with her.

toddler travel

Except for a few beach trips, Joe and I haven't been on a vacation since our honeymoon. We decided to make our next vacation a trip to see his sister who moved to Los Angeles a few years ago. There aren't any direct flights from Birmingham so we had a short layover in Las Vegas with a plane change both ways. Total air travel time ranged from 6-7 hours.  Meaning, we had to pack light, plan for 2 takeoffs/landings each way, pack meals and figure out how to entertain a 19-month old toddler in the square footage of a shoebox. 

We packed two backpacks and two suitcases- one with clothes and one with all the other essentials. We ditched the stroller and the pack n' play and opted for co-sleeping and walking/carrying. The suitcases were checked and the backpacks had all the diapering/snack/entertainment necessities. I had been tempted to buy a better diaper bag but I'm glad I didn't. We pretty much accepted the tourist look throughout the trip. Backpacks are so much more comfortable than shoulder bags and I was thankful for it on the plane and in Disneyland. 

I bought an adorable little backpack from Pottery Barn and loaded it with toys, snacks and food packs for Emmy. It got a little heavy so we had to stuff the whole thing into Joe's backpack. In the end, we only needed two toys: a magnadoodle and a plane that lights up with a fan. Those entertained her the whole entire plane ride there and back (12 hours of entertainment)! Oh, and she shredded some magazines but we got permission first. 

We laughed every time we picked a seat because we didn't buy Emmy her own seat so both of our long flights were packed and some unfortunate soul would get stuck next to us. That's part of why we decided to board as soon as possible: so other people would know what they were signing up for. We flew Southwest and got "A" for all except one flight. Turns out, if you have young kids, you can go at the end of the "A" section even if you have a "C". So, I could have saved $25 on the early bird fees. 

We also took the window/middle seat despite advice to take the aisle. I didn't want to trap someone in if Emmy fell asleep and I knew the window could be entertaining. That really worked well for us, if our seat mate went to the bathroom, so did we. We would make small talk and introduce Emmy then do our best to keep her content. The take off was exciting to her, she would give us her "surprise face" and giggle. The landing didn't face her much at all. I packed her sippy cup with water to help her swallow to keep her ears from popping but her habit of sucking her fingers took care of that. 

The loud "wind" sound in an airplane is similar to her sound machine so I shouldn't have been surprised that it would sooth her. She slept on most of the flights, about an hour at a time. She even slept through a landing!

When we did land, everyone would perk up around us and brag about how good and sweet she was. We gave her plenty of attention and entertained her with everything we could find but we didn't allow her to scream and kick or do anything to make someone else's trip uncomfortable. 

I was so thankful that she is a good kid (most of the time) and I was glad not to lug around anything. Checking bags always makes me nervous but when we were running from one flight to another, I was happy to only need my backpack and kid to go. Oh, but if you can afford to buy your toddler a seat- DO IT. When she had her own seat, Joe and I could breathe so much easier and she was happy to have her own space too. And yeah... so this guy was actually really nice but totally photobombed my picture!

The only issue we had after all 4 flights happened when we got home. Somebody took our big suitcase home with them and we had to wait 2 days for them to return it. I was so thankful that it wasn't our bag full of "essentials" and the one they took only had dirty clothes. Southwest had nothing to do with that mistake but they gave us $50 off our next flight. So, where to go next!?

malibu beach

Part 1:
 The travel should be part 1. Chronologically, that would make sense. But I didn't use my fancy camera while traveling. And that post is going to be useful and well thought out. This post is just about Malibu Beach. It's also mostly just pictures. 

Malibu was my favorite part of our trip (yes, even better than Disneyland!). Ashlyn told us the temperature drops when you get over the mountain and close to the beach. I believed her but it wasn't until I felt it that I truly understood the difference. It's like going from summer to fall instantly. As soon as we could see the Pacific, I mentally made a check on my bucket list.  Gulf of Mexico, Atlantic Ocean, North Sea and now the Pacific Ocean and it did not disappoint.

After we climbed down the particularly steep and slightly dangerous terrain, we were greeted with heavy waves crashing on rocks. The beach reminded me of the beach in Scotland. This sand is not soft and fine like on the gulf coast. The water is cold and the sound of waves crashing sounded like thunder. I loved it. I love to be around the beach but I hate the Florida heat and humidity. I could live in Malibu forever. Except, of course, it's apparently very expensive. 

perfection isn't real

One thing about marriage that still surprises me is how hard it is for two independent, unique individuals to live together. Joe is my best friend, I want to spend the rest of my life with him and be happy together all the time. The problem is how living isn't just relaxing with a glass of wine, laughing about our kid, our friends, and discussing the news and work. 

We do relax and talk, but life is making dinner, cleaning up after dinner, bathing, television, laundry, planning, packing, organizing sock drawers, changing sheets and mopping floors. Life is negotiating schedules and making decisions about how to spend our weekends; which side of the family to see and which group of friends to spend time with. It's a great problem to have, to be pulled by many people we love. Emmy has been so much fun lately, so spirited and entertaining. I can't wait to share her with people. 

But the responsibilities literally build up on my shoulders. They get heavy, my back hurts, I want to cry but instead I get pissed, exhausted, and like an animal my head turns to look at my husband with fearsome eyes, he is my next meal. This is all his fault.

I wait until he messes up. Suddenly, I shout at him for saying "I forgot.." for the one hundredth time. I get so mad that he can't remember anything I ask him to do. I bang around the dishes in a dramatic way to point out that he didn't put them up the way we had agreed the last time they all fell out of the cabinet. I make irrational rules like "you can't go do that with your friend because it's no eating out week.". I throw his laundry on the floor in the hallway because he ignored my pleas for him to put them up for a week. He offers to make dinner then follows it with "what should I make? How do I make that? Where is the chicken and how do I put olive oil in a pan?". My eyes are hateful little snake slits at this point, I snatch the pot out of his hands and yell at him to get out of the kitchen. 

Joe is a great guy, he is kind and he is a loving father to Emmy. He's human and he makes mistakes and when I'm not angry, I can look back and see the crazed look in my eyes and know that I over-reacted. A few times, he tried to be crazier than me, over-react to my over-reaction to make me cower down. That didn't work out so well. We are still learning to communicate our fights with calmer voices. The key, of course, to any problem is that both parties agree that change is due and they must both actually want to change. I have to admit that I take out my frustration on Joe (and the pots & pans) and he has to admit that he is a little too carefree and forgetful. We usually agree to change our behavior... until a few months later when it all happens again. 

 My mom and my sister and I are amazingly alike. We could do everything and run the world and nothing is impossible and we never forget anything. My mom used to say, "I am woman, hear my roar!!" We bring home the bacon - and then we cook it. We try to be perfect. And, inevitably, we make a mistake. We burn the bread, we make a bad judgment call or miss an appointment. Our world comes crashing down and we get so mad at ourselves. We have failed or disappointed someone and by golly, heads will roll. This is my problem. Trying to do it all and do it perfectly and then letting rage take over when I'm overwhelmed. I think my mom taught us this and I am both proud and ashamed of how that pride has made me so strong and yet, a little... mean. (Mom, you know I love you, and you know it's true). 

I read in a study that 40% of women are now the main bread winners for their household. Yet that same study said women do 70% of household chores. I'm not a feminist but that shit ain't right. I think it boils down to women not raising boys to do household chores. My mom taught me to do the dishes, weekly laundry and how to cook. My dad taught me how to fix things, how to think creatively to fix a problem and not to be afraid of tools. I was also raised to speak my mind which made one job end on bad terms and this job the most amazing relationship with a boss I will likely ever have in my career. 

I want Emmy to know how to do everything and be eager to work hard, to be unafraid when faced with a problem but to also know how to stand up for herself when she is pushed too hard. If I have a son, I will teach him exactly the same thing. In this modern world, equality is key.  I will support my daughter if she decides to stay at home and raise her kids, I will support her if she decides to work or if she decides to love women. I will even support her if she decides not to have kids at all (yikes! please want children!).  Most importantly, I want her to see that she is not perfect because perfection isn't real. I am trying to learn this for myself, to be brave enough to admit when I'm wrong and accept it and to trust that my husband will try to be better yet accept him for who he is; forgetful at times but the sweetest guy I know.

carousel

We had one goal for Sunday: don't do anything. But when you have a toddler, doing something can be less work than doing nothing. The local mall, the Galleria, finally fixed their carousel so I thought it would be fun to test out Emmy's thrill skills to see if she would like the ride. When we go to LA in a few weeks we are planning to spend a day at Disneyland. This will be more for us than Emmy but I'm really excited to see what she thinks of all the exciting and beautiful attractions. 

The galleria's carousel is not a big deal. It moves fairly slow and I would be right there next to her. She'd have to love it, right? Um... no. As you can see, she spent most of the ride with a death grip on me, trying to figure out how to get off the cat while it was moving. 

Oh, and why the cat? Because I picked out a badass tiger but some other little boy got to it first. Then I picked a beautiful white unicorn but she refused to get on it. The cat was her choice. 

roll tide y'all

In Alabama, football isn't just a sport, football is a way of life. You must choose between Alabama and Auburn (regardless of your alma mater) and spend all weekend watching football with friends and shouting either "Roll Tide" or "War Eagle" to complete strangers. Football season in the south is fun. It can be a little annoying when Joe tries to watch 4 games at one time... I have no idea who to root for and sometimes I just want ONE hour away from it but overall, I love it. 

Joe's brother, Jonathan was in town from Vandy and Emmy has always absolutely adored him. I was excited that he would be here because I knew that she would be happy. Boy, was she happy! I love my new camera, it make it so much easier to capture these sweet moments.

About the time Emmy was supposed to be unwinding for bed, she got her 2nd wind. She ran around the downstairs hollering and working her cuteness to get attention. Joe took her up and she crashed immediately. 

She has been so fun these days, just a sweet and happy little munchkin. Our friend, Jenna, has to be the most laid back and nicest person ever. She is due in one week and her bump is half the size of her body and she happily sat there and enjoyed the game with the rest of us. She is amazing! Oh, and ROLL TIDE Y'ALL!