the terrible two days

This is Emmy. She asked for some apples. Joe didn't get the apples to her quickly enough.
Apparently, nobody loves her.

Of course, I heard about this stage.  I've heard that children throw tantrums, scream, cry, throw themselves down on the ground and flail around. Those kids are terrible and their parents suck.
 My kid would never do that. I wouldn't allow it. 
I had this all planned out.  I would give my child "the look" and he or she would submit to me quietly. I would casually return to  my adult conversation or my leisurely stroll through Target. I might pity the other mothers with screaming babies but I wouldn't judge them, they are trying their best. 
Then, I had Emmy. She is a sweet, loving child. She is ticklish, giggly, affectionate and smart. This may come as a surprise to you... but she can be terrible too.
The thing that surprised me the most entering this stage is that I'm not mad... I don't even want to spank her most of the time. I want to hold her and give her what she wants (but I know better than that).
 I tried getting mad at her, making myself and my voice bigger than her but it only made things worse, she'd start yelling or crying so hysterically it made it impossible for me to get through to her. I tried gently popping her bottom or her hand and sometimes she cried but most of the time she just hit me back. Now I'm teaching her to get physical when she gets mad. Most of the time, her behavior is directly related to food or sleep. When she is tired she gets cranky, impatient and sensitive. Those are also the three words I would use to describe the terrible twos.
I talked to Joe's grandmother when Emmy was having a meltdown in front of her, she said "She's completely normal. She's doing exactly what she's supposed to be doing. Just ignore her." So, is that the secret? To show them that a meltdown gets no results: no response, no attention, and no rewards? Could the solution be so simple? 
I used to watch 18 Kids and Counting and watch the Duggar mother calmly discipline her children. She never, ever yelled or spanked them and they were all so good.  I'm not against spanking but I do believe that you can discipline with eye contact and a calm voice. Emmy is already learning to use her words and I'm going to encourage her to listen to me and to tell me what she wants politely.
It's not hard for me to find a time to test my theories. When I picked Emmy up from daycare today, her teacher told me she talked to her baby for the entire nap hour and she never slept. I wasn't surprised when she had her first meltdown after dinner. She tried to pick up and throw my DSLR camera. Joe took it from her and she started screaming for it. Joe firmly told her NO then we ignored her. She threw herself to the ground, forcing herself to cry with her face pressed against the floor. It was hard, but we didn't laugh, we didn't comfort her and we continued to talk to each other as if nothing was happening. 
After a while her sobs faded and Joe went over and asked if she was tired. He picked her up and she melted in his arms. It was so much less dramatic than trying to teach her a lesson while she was hysterical.
My boss has this quote taped to his desk and I saw it today and thought of how true it is in life. It is easy to react to the emotions and temperament of others, it is much harder to set the mood and hang on to it when others try to break it down. 

Emmy is testing us, trying to find our buttons to get a reaction. She wants to see how much she can get away with. But she is also watching us. She is watching how we interact with each other, how we deal with problems and she is absorbing it all.
 It won't be easy, but I'll have to channel the inner Duggar and make my buttons less sensitive and set the house temperature at chill.
 Anybody want to donate some wine to the Henson household?

flipagram

Have you seen flipagram? It's a free app that can turn your pictures into a quick slideshow with music and as many pictures as you want. I chose 50 pictures to go with the free clip of "story of my life" by One Direction. If you have tried to have a conversation with me in the last few weeks, I probably sang this to you in natural conversation. I'm sorry. Joe hates this song now but I love it and I can't help myself. 

 I'll probably make a longer one for the whole year once we hit 2014! 

Here is our video: 

http://fgr.am/f/IDHEUgWeCT

merry christmas!

I have been so excited about Christmas this year. I have enjoyed decking our home out in bright lights and colors making it homey and cheerful for Emmy. It turned out that the bright light, delicate ornaments and mercury glass accessories proved too tempting for a toddler and many of my usual decorations were quickly hidden away. 
Emmy is into everything now. She's a bubbling bit of energy, destroying everything in her path.  She has impatient moments, frustrated screams and total meltdowns and basically everything we ever heard about the "terrible twos". Still, she doesn't have a menacing heart, I've been somewhat patient with her while she learns to speak and listen. I've decided to take some good advice and just laugh at her a little every now and then. 
Our first Christmas was spent in Huntsville with Joe's family. Like all good families, time away doesn't seem to exist. The moment everyone is together, you're all just family and it's so much fun.

We had another little Christmas with Joe's dad on the 23rd. 

Jonathan had spent all day cooking a turkey for everyone. He also made creamed spinach and mashed potatoes. His wife was at work so he bought some new fancy spices and did everything on his own. The only problem was that he bought some sea salt. Those giant chunks of salt are about 100x stronger than regular salt and it made all the food taste like salt! We could tell that it was otherwise good but we couldn't eat any of it. Luckily, the turkey was great and we had some apple pie for dessert. 

Emmy spent the whole night chasing their kitties around the house. She rode on Jonathan's back saying, "here kicky kicky, meow meow". It was hilarious to watch those cats scurry and slide across the hardwoods trying to escape her. 

On Christmas Eve we drove up to Centre to see Joe's other side of the family. 

His grandparents grilled steaks and baked potatoes for dinner (yummm). I helped cook while Emmy entertained the family with dancing and singing. After dinner, we opened presents and let me just say, our little girl RACKED.UP. She is the first and only grandchild/great-grandchild on that side of the family and they just couldn't help themselves. 

One of my favorite gifts was this little guitar that Emmy immediately picked up and started playing. She loved everything she got. Each doll got a hug and a kiss, every book was opened and every gifter was thanked. We were so proud of her and her few (however dramatic) meltdowns were easily quelled with a little quiet time in a spare bedroom. 

We got home around 9:30 and my sweet sister and her husband were there waiting on us, cookies in the oven. We got Emmy to bed and brought in Emmy's loot and played Santa together. We were too excited to sleep and I got wrapped in this book I'm reading and stayed up way too late. I hoped to sleep in but my excitement got the best of me and Joe and I were up at 6:45AM.

We always sneak down at different times to fill each other's stockings so we can both be a little surprised too. We didn't bother wrapping much this year but I was so happy to be able to have some coffee and open gifts and go through our stockings just the two of us before Emmy got up so we could enjoy each other's company without all the excitement that is Emmy.

Courtney and Alex arrived just as Emmy was waking up so they got to experience her seeing the gifts with us. She loves her "ikea table hack" and I can't decide who has played with that chalkboard more - me or her. She adored her little tea set and stopping to pour tea and take little sips or offer sips to Alex. 

My sister bought her the "hug me" Elmo which Emmy both loves and runs from. My dad and Paula came over and we had a delicious breakfast of hashbrown casserole, sausage and cinnamon rolls. They bought Emmy so many books. I was excited to get something I'd wanted for her, something she will cherish for many years to come. 

After a quick nap we all headed over to my mom's house for Christmas dinner. 

Little Hannah wasn't feeling well and my mom had hurt her back so it was down to the girls to cook dinner while the boys entertained the babies.

 

We actually had quite a lot of fun cooking (and drinking a little crown). We had so much fun that at some point I looked over into the dining room to see the whole centerpiece on fire. I always wondered how I would react in this kind of situation: your house is on fire - how do you respond? Fast or slow? Fight or flight? Apparently, I'm the type to swing my child around and yell, "OHMYGOD OHMYGOD FIRE FIRE FIRE FIRE" and then run in a small circle achieving absolutely nothing. Luckily, Rich came running in and told me to open the door for him. He picked up the centerpiece and ran out the door then calmly walked down to the water faucet while a 2-foot high ball of fire blazed in his hand. 

We all had a good laugh at how terrible all the women handled the shock of the fire. My mom also bought me a Phillips air fryer (no fire required!) that cooks like a microwave and a toaster in one. I'm still figuring it out but I will do a post about it soon!

I was overall so happy this Christmas. Lots of amazing, beautiful and useful gifts. 

We are very lucky to have our little family and our big family around us. We work hard to keep our family close, they are so important to us and it's worth it to be with people you know you love and will continue to have for years.

PS - does anybody see a baby bump up there? My little sister is having a boy!!!!!!! (more to come on that later.. when she's ready).

 

learn to say no

I'm practicing some calligraphy and photoshop stuff. 

I'd say the above image is square one. 

I worked for hours on a quote to give a friend as a gift and before I had a chance to convert it to a digital image, Emmy colored all over it. I took that as a sign that it needed more work (after I whined to Joe about how mean she was to me). This one was supposed to say, "learn to say no without giving an excuse" but I ran out of room. I saw that quote on pinterest sometime and thought of it today since I am at home, taking care of a sick sweet Emmy and trying to be at work at the same time. 

Today, I decided to just be at home. To just cuddle and comfort her and get some chores done without feeling guilty about work. 

so this happened on the way home tonight...

I mean, seriously. I cannot get enough of this kid. I have no idea where she gets her moves but I thank God everyday for quick access to video cameras so I'll never forget them. 

dance night

Joe and I had one of our "talks" the other night. You know, the one where you take a step back and look at your family, your daily routine, the nit-picky arguments and work to make things a little better.
One decision we made was to leave our cell phones at the door when we get home. We already had a rule about cell phones during dinner but we also turn the tv off during dinner. Instead of tv, we listen to music. That's how I grew up and it is SO much more relaxing. 
The best part about adding in music instead of tv is that there is dancing at the dinner table and this little dance when dinner is over:

best ever hot cocoa recipe

I love getting crafty and I love it even more when I'm paid to do it. Everyone is working on projects at the office (it's slow season) and I offered to make some gifts for agents, attorneys and clients. There is always a lot of baked goods going around and it is so hard not to eat cookies and donuts when they are sitting around the office all day. 
I wanted to do something cute that can be taken home and used over time.  I decided to come up with my own recipe for hot cocoa and put the mix in mason jars. 
The best hot cocoa recipe ever:
2.5 cups instant non-fat milk 1 cup cocoa powder 2 cups powdered sugar 1 teaspoon corn starch 1 teaspoon salt 2 pinches of cinnamon pinch of cayenne pepper
Mix ingredients well and store in air-tight container. To serve, mix with hot water. I preferred about 2 tablespoons of cocoa to water ratio, Joe likes his more like 2 to 1 water to cocoa.
Top with marshmallows and miniature chocolate chips for fun!

oh, christmas tree

It was an especially cold day so we thought it would be fun to go by a local pastry shop to get some hot cocoa and then go pick out a Christmas tree. Doesn't that just sound like a quaint family movie? Emmy, however, doesn't respond to sugar bribes yet and she had two meltdowns before we left the house so we decided to make the trip as fast as possible and cut out the cocoa. 

 
Emmy also recently graduated to the "wait for no-one stage" where she runs off in the direction of whatever her heart desires. Everyone says she's so cute, giggling and laughing down the aisles. They aren't the ones chasing her. 

We always go to Home Depot for our trees. My brother-in-law is kind of  a connoisseur of Christmas trees and converted me and my sister from fake trees to real ones. He recommended Home Depot for price, quality and service and they have always been amazing for us. Their employees are cheerful and our trees last over a month and are beautiful.

Emmy didn't like them climbing all over our car to get the tree secure. The two guys who helped us tried to make her laugh but it didn't work. 

When we got home we searched all over the house and couldn't find any lights. I vaguely remembered tossing all of them out last year because so many had burned out. Joe wasn't thrilled but he went back to Home Depot.

While he was gone, I pulled out the box of ornaments and Emmy immediately smashed 2 of them. If I looked away for one second, she had her sticky fingers on something fragile. It's like the Christmas tree turned her into a naughty little gnome; sneaking ornaments and throwing them on the ground as hard as possible then running off giggling. I made her some hot chocolate and she chugged it, downing that full cup of sugar in 5 seconds. 
Joe got home with the lights only to realize that we had totally underestimated the size of our tree. He bought 700 lights but headed back out to Home Depot for 600 more. I wanted to mix colored lights and white lights and you know, you can't just mix in any box of colored lights - they have to be consistent. Home Depot was sold out of the exact lights he had just bought. So, he headed to target, carrying a picture of the correct box with him and possibly grumbling a bit but definitely not offering to stay with Emmy.  
Emmy's sugar wore off by 6 and after an epic whine/sobfest, I took her to bed.  Even though we knew she would wake up at night starved and hangry, we let her sleep so we could get this d*mn tree finished. I'm not sure that anyone really enjoys putting up their tree, it's a lot of work and it's dusty and prickly and sappy. 

Like how evenly the colored lights and white lights are mixed? Yeah, we really needed another strand of white but this was just going to have to suffice.  

Still, look at how good all these pictures came out and you know, we definitely made memories that we can laugh about later. And every morning when Emmy wakes up she runs straight to the tree to ooh and aww over the lights.   Yeah, she usually promptly hulk smashes an ornament but hey, I put all of my favorites on the top and everyone in the Henson house is happy. 

a tale of three thanksgivings

Before Emmy was born, Joe and I decided to stop going to every family Thanksgiving we were invited to. We wanted to be able to stay in one place long enough to really enjoy the family time and not travel so much that we feel exhausted at the end of the vacation. 
This year, we decided that we wouldn't make any decisions about our Thanksgiving traditions and we would just see as many people as possible. My family lives in Birmingham and Joe's family lives in Huntsville and northeast of Gadsden. Each Thanksgiving trip is 4 hours of travel and 3-4 hours of family time. It can be exhausting, Emmy's schedule gets completely off and it's hard to adjust back to our schedules in time for work. 
When it's all said and done though, I am so thankful for our families. We are so loved and it is so fun to make memories together. I also appreciate my dad who said we could just do lunch sometime so we didn't have a 4th Thanksgiving!
THE SHUFFLE:
On Sunday, we had our first Thanksgiving at my mom's house. We always dress up a little, eat at the dining table with the fancy china and drink sangria. It's calm, we have Christmas music in the background and we take turns talking about all the reasons we have to be thankful.
 This is the Thanksgiving that most resembles how I grew up and I love the food and I love the tradition. 

Next up, we spent Thanksgiving day at Joe's maternal grandparent's house. They live on a lake and are just the sweetest grandparents anyone could ever have. Joe loves his Nanny & Papa Bill and we are so grateful for all that they have done for Joe.
 It's a completely different style of Thanksgiving. There are maybe 25-30 people (all family!) and a TON of food. Everyone brings food so there is an abundance of options and unique family recipes. We all grab paper plates and reverse fight for seats (that's where everyone argues trying to give up their seats for each other). It is much more laid back and people usually come and go quickly. We stayed late this year to soak up the time with Joe's Nanny and Papa to make the trip count. Emmy started to have her tired-baby meltdown and we headed home. 

On Friday morning, I had some of my girls come over for mimosas so we could all catch up and make plans for the Christmas parties.  On Saturday we hosted friends for the Iron Bowl. We had 6 people over so in all we had 6 Alabama fans, 1 Auburn fan and 1 neutral party. It was such an intense, incredible and terrible game. Joe still hasn't fully recovered. I don't think he will until we beat them next year. Lucky for me, my awesome brother-in-law stayed late to help Joe fix our sink. Poor Aunt Yellie (Danielle) had to wait on him so I convinced her to get cozy on the couch and Rufus helped her out. 

On Sunday we headed up to Huntsville for our last Thanksgiving. I was really excited about this one because there are actually kids. LOTS OF KIDS. Joe's cousin has 3 children, aged 6,5 and 3 and all of them are ridiculously cute. Emmy was shy for about 15 minutes and then started following around the older kids as if she were as big as they are.  Joe's paternal grandparents have a little farm; they grow their own vegetables and it makes for such a fun space for the kids. We were lucky it wasn't too cold and they were able to play outside. Everyone ended up coming out and I was so proud of Emmy laughing and playing and just being herself around people she doesn't know all that well. 
Sometimes you know that you are making memories that will stay in your mind forever. This day was one of those days. 

Emmy is so adored by her whole family, especially all the men in her life.  She is one lucky girl.