christmas pictures

Last year, Joe and I decided to do 5 Christmases in 5 days so that we could see everyone since we knew that we would not do 5 Christmases in 2012. And then we did. 

We do love our family and it was hard to tell them no. But by the end of the Holidays, we were exhausted and decided to be more proactive in next year's planning (we'll see).

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Our first Christmas was in Huntsville with Joe's dad's family.

This is the only pic I have, which I stole from my sister in law, It's Emmy with her Bell, the talking dog from Hallmark. I think I loved this more than her!

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On Christmas Eve we drove to Centre to join Joe's mom's side of the family. They live on Weiss Lake so we went outside to take a few pictures and well, they didn't go too well. 

Believe it or not, this look wasn't even directed at me. I don't know what happened, I just looked at the camera and these were their faces. I laughed hysterically, then regrouped for one good one.

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Then we drove back home and met my sister and brother-in-law to make cookies, watch Home Alone and drive around looking at lights. Courtney takes the most amazing pictures and it's always so hard to choose which ones to post! 

Emmy loves her Uncle Alex but that doesn't mean she's going to share her apple!

She stayed up way too late. All the traveling got her schedule off and this is her happy as a clam at 10pm. 

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My dad and his wife came over Christmas morning with Courtney and Alex. We had to wake Emmy up at 10 so we could open presents with her! I might have been more excited about her new toys than she was. 

But she did love getting into her daddy's stocking (check out her hands)!

and... my favorite gift of all was what me, Courts and Alex got for Joe: karate lessons!

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We left to go to my mom's house around lunchtime. Mom loved holding Emmy while we opened our presents. In all the chaos of ripping presents and tossing bows and ribbons, Emmy fit right in. She just crawled all over it tossing ribbons behind her. 

The whole family at the table... except Courtney who didn't make one single picture because she took them all. I guess next year she's going to have to get a tripod for that camera!

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Our last Christmas was back at our house on Thursday night with Joe's dad and sister. We had a blast with all of our family but I think next year will have to be a little different. Joe and I need to focus on our little family and make sure that we do what we want, not just what everyone else asks us to do. 

This was still one of my favorite Christmases of all time. I imagine it only gets better as they get older and more aware of what's going on. I can't wait until next year!

making the marriage thing work

There are a lot of blogs that talk about families.

I started this blog to keep a scrapbook/memento of my first child. It's fun to write about her milestones, how she makes me so happy and how fun it is to be a mom. 

What I've noticed is that nobody talks about how hard it all is. 

I never wanted to put my personal stuff on the internet. I only talk about my relationship with my husband with close friends and select family. The thing I wonder is, if more of us talked about the difficulty of marriage, would we not find that we are all having the same problems? Isn't a good marriage worth working at? Worth countless compromises, talks, and negotiations? 

My husband is my best friend and we spent the first 7 years of our relationship being affectionately selfish little kids. Doing what we wanted with or without each other and having lots of fun. Enter baby. She might be the best kid in the world but we can't be selfish anymore. We have responsibilities.

Joe and I started what we call "dealz with the devilz" (which must be said in a ridiculous gollum-like voice) to start a conversation about wheeling and dealing responsibilities. Who is going to feed Emmy, bathe her, change her diaper, put her to bed, wake her up, play with her (you get the idea). We sometimes miss our "me" time so we try to make deals so that one of us gets to watch tv or surf the internet while the other one gives Emmy attention. I hear a lot of, "well I did this so you have to do that". I can respond by bringing up money and bills. Argue what's fair based on what I did earlier in the day. We get frustrated because things aren't always working out "fair". 

Our friends are mostly still single or newly-married, without kids. They still have a night life and are kind enough not to write us off just because we have a kid. But you can't find a sitter in less than 24 hours. So one of us has to stay home. We wheel and deal about that too.

It was getting to the point that our marriage was a bargain. 

Everything had a value, a cost and a reward. It was making me sick and I started resenting my husband. I wasn't innocent but how do you stop something like that? 

I am literally asking that question. We have talked about it. We are both unhappy and want to get out of the rut but it's so hard. My mom suggested that we both just give 100% instead of looking for 50. I think that's good advice but I already feel like I've spent 100% by the end of the day. Maybe it will be better when we have Emmy back in daycare full time and I get focused on work. Maybe it will get better when we have more kids and get zero "me" time. Maybe we just need to focus on giving Emmy the most we can so it's not about us at all.

In the end, all that matters is that she is happy and her parents keep working at it, making the marriage thing work.

christmas with emmy

People said the Holidays are more fun with kids and we have definitely found that to be true! Despite the week at the hospital, Emmy's first December has been so full of joy. 

Strangely enough, she developed a strange sort of chipmunk laugh at the hospital and it has kept Joe and I laughing since. She tries to listen to our conversations and laughs when we do. She laughs when she thinks of something funny and at almost everything Rufus does. 

Her happiness is contagious and Joe and I needed that more than she knows. She is making her parent's marriage better without even trying. 

She also enjoys unwrapping presents, which has been fun for her and not so fun for me but since she's laughing about it I can't bring myself to stop her. She has crawled under the tree a few times and tried to pull it down and has been responding to "no ma'am" very well! She just smiles back at me and moves on to something else. 

We got so lucky with Santa this year! We weren't sure if we wanted to brave the largest mall in Birmingham to wait for Santa but we knew we needed to do it for Emmy's sake. After church on Sunday my mom and Rich took us to lunch at the Summit. It was raining and cold but when we walked out of the restaurant, Santa was just sitting in his chair with no one around! I asked if he was "open" and he said his camera man had bailed due to the rain but that we could take our own pictures for free. Heck yes!! 

Emmy loved him, look at her smile!

hospital survival kit

I've been in the hospital with a sick child for 5 days, 4 nights and here's a list of things I think all moms should pack if their child gets admitted for the hospital:

For the baby:
1. Lots of onesies. The best ones are these at Gap. You can't do footies in case they hook up a monitor or IV. These are great because the buttons will let the whole outfit come off without going over the head or feet. You need at least 6 even 
2. Wash cloths - for the in-bed sponge bath. Hospital towels are scratchy.
3. Plastic toys - Sitting in a crib can get dull so we alternate the toys so she thinks it's something new. We only brought plastic so we could easily sanitize them. 

The hospital provides for their patient, the baby. So formula, juice, diapers and wipes are free and you should take full advantage.

For the parents:

My new motto: "make yourself at home"

1. Firm pillows and sleeping bags and/or comforter - The furniture is hard and the pillows here  are a joke. You will need a firm pillow to protect your head from the hard spots on the bed or wall. The comforter can be doubled-up if you are sleeping on a hard bed so you have more cushion. It may seem like a bulky addition (because it is) but you can stash it away during the day and it will be worth it to avoid aches and pains at night
2. Water bottles - You can refill them from the tap, just make sure to drink lots of water. The lack of sleep will make your face puffy enough. You need water to make yourself feel better.
3. Gum - For your breathe, you will need it.
4. Toiletries - This is obvious of course but make sure you don't miss anything. Bring shampoo, conditioner, face wash tooth brush - all of it. I assume all hospitals have showers.
5. A towel - back to the point about scratchy towels. 
6. Technology - keeping up with the rest of the world is the only way you will feel like the rest of the world is still happening. Being cooped up in a hospital makes time stand still. 

Unlike preparing for the hospital stay before you give birth, the ER is unexpected. You probably won't pack much when you first drop in because you don't know if your child will even be admitted unless it's truly serious and in that case you don't even have time to think about packing a bag. 

I guess most of this is applicable to anyone's hospital stay. It's important to appreciate the service and care you are getting  and although it's nothing like a hotel stay there's no reason not to make yourself feel better about being there. 

I'd also suggest avoiding fast food and cafeteria food. If someone offers to bring you something, let them. My mom brought my favorite home-cooked dinner one night. My sister brought us warm cookies and milk (Joe's favorite) another night. These things made us feel normal. We felt more human eating things that weren't wrapped in plastic. 

This trip to the hospital isn't about us. It's about Emmy 

emmy in the hospital

Let's start with a brief history of the past week: Tuesday, December 4th we noticed Emmy coughing a lot and by 7pm she had a fever. I could feel something rattling in her chest when she breathed and knew it was time to go to the doctor. We took her in mid-day on Wednesday and she was diagnosed with bronchiolitis. The doctor gave us albeterol and I stayed home with her on Thursday and she did great, napping and playing but running out of breath a little easily. I gave her a breathing treatment every 4 hours and that seemed to help. That night, she got worse fast. Her fever popped up and her breathing was really fast. She kept crying because she couldn't sleep and when I held her to my chest she felt like hot jello. We got scared and took her to the Children's ER at 1am. 

The Children's hospital in Birmingham has recently been remodeled and is beautiful. The private room we got in the ER was sufficient and clean. The nurses said Emmy's oxygen level was low but suctioned out her nose and wanted to keep her off oxygen as long as possible. I didn't understand why they were hesitant until they put her on it. She screamed and cried and screamed some more for 4 hours straight. She HATED that thing in her nose. By mid-morning she wore herself and we were able to get her to sleep although she would only sleep if we were holding her.

We got a real room around 1pm on Friday and I was excited to see the new rooms until we found ourselves in the old building, one floor under the one currently being renovated (as in, it occassionally sounds as if bricks are falling on our ceiling). Our room that overlooks a concrete wall so we don't get daylight. The furniture is old, the pleather worn and ripped and uncomfortable as hell. You may think since I am describing this in the beginning that it was my main concern. It wasn't. I walked in like "I can make this work, all that matter is that Emmy gets better. It'll just be a day or two. It's like camping without any fresh air." 

The first day was rough, she was sweating and crying all day. Her fever would spike and they kept her on motrin and oxygen. By Friday night she was breathing better at was able to come off the oxygen for short periods. She wasn't able to get enough liquids so they had to start an IV. She did surprisingly well with it and it definitely perked her up a bit.

 I started to get excited on Saturday when the doctors said her lungs sounded much better but her congestion was still preventing her from reaching good oxygen levels. Then her fevers came back and they discovered another ear infection. We started to think we may be able to leave on Sunday. Unfortunately, her O2 levels dropped again and she needed oxygen. 

On Sunday her attitude turned around completely. She started laughing and smiling. We danced like monkeys around her crib just to get a laugh. Her IV fell out and they let it stay out since she started eating again. My mom told me not to get my hopes up but I already started imagining her home in her bed, me taking her to the park to watch Rufus run and getting her some fresh air. Joe's mom stayed Sunday night so Joe and I could get some rest. At 10 pm we found out they wanted to put the IV back in. Not long after that, she had to go back on oxygen. We felt like we were taking steps backwards and it took some mind-manipulating to convince myself that it was actually going to help her get better quicker. 

I was happy to stay Monday night. I brought a lamp from home and we made ourselves comfortable. Emmy was up until 10 dancing and crawling but once she fell asleep we only had to wake up to help a nurse or to walk off the bruises we were getting from the planks poking through the hospital couch-beds. At midnight her oxygen fell out and she was able to keep her O2 above 90 most of the time. I woke up at 6am so excited. The O2 was officially off, she was sleeping and her levels were high enough. We were going home!! 

NOT. By the time the doctors came in at 10am her levels started to drop, she was dozing for a nap and we couldn't keep her levels up. I honestly think that the doctors stress her out and that's part of it but it didn't matter, we weren't going home. I cried. I begged the doctor to consider the value of daylight, fresh air and her own bed as valuable tools to heal someone. She agreed but said we don't have oxygen at home and a humidifier won't suffice for her. We could wake up to find a blue baby. She could still develop pneumonia and she needed constant monitoring. I think we understood each other and I am still coming to terms with her decision. 

I keep asking myself, am I being selfish because I want to go home? Shouldn't I trust the doctors to make the best decisions? I try not to get cynical and wonder if the doctors are just following a written protocol to avoid lawsuits. I don't have anything against Children's Hospital. The nurses and doctors have been great. The facility is already working on remodeling and although I hope I'm never back I'm sure that if I am it will be a much nicer stay. 

We are still at the hospital so I'll have to follow-up with another post after the emotions have settled. I am also excited to do a post about a Hospital survival kit to help anyone else who gets stuck in the hospital with a sick child. A happy mommy and daddy will make a happier and healthier baby so tonight I'm going to pack all the things I've been trying to do without. I don't care if it's just one more night. I'm going to be comfortable and I should have started off that way.

never too late to get one in

It's been a while since I posted anything which for some reason makes me not want to post anything new because there is just too much to cover. 

BUT, I was thinking about a post I did about being a working mom and how I found staying at home unrewarding. I feel differently about that now. As Emmy has grown older, she is so much more fun.  I spend every moment I have playing with her, talking to her and watching her learn new things. It's amazing and it's completely rewarding. I may not get a pat on the back but seeing her smile at me makes it all worth while.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to stop working. I still love going to the office everyday and I find my job very rewarding, helping people save money and buy houses can be fun (albeit also very stressful). The sweet ladies at Emmy's daycare are amazing and she loves them. She smiles so big when she sees them and I'm happy to know that she is learning to play well with others, to share and make friends. I miss her incredibly, especially on Mondays after a weekend of cuddling and play time.

First Halloween costume: a poodle like her Rufus
From her Bascom Grandparents

Her 2nd costume from her sweet Aunt Fruity!

A little update on Emmy:

Eating:
She got her first tooth a few weeks ago and now has two little teeth on the bottom! She loves to feed herself and has gotten pretty good at putting the rice puffs in her mouth instead of on the floor. Her favorite snack is a slice of apple, just thick enough not to break when she teethes and sucks on it. She will eat a banana right out of the peel loves her vegetables as much as her fruit. Her typical feeding schedule is 7:30 bottle, 12:00 bottle and food, 3:30 bottle, 5:30 food, 7:00 bottle. I think we are going to switch out a bottle for food soon but she's been content so we haven't needed to change anything now. I wish I knew more about feeding schedules, the other kids at daycare have so much more food packed but I have no idea why they eat so much! (I guess it's possible they spend more time there, Emmy is usually 8:30-4). 

Sleeping:
Emmy is amazing. She is still sleeping 12-13 hours every night. Ever since she was 3 months old, she has slept like a tank. On the weekends she takes 2 or 3 naps for 30 minutes to two hours, depending on the weather and how much is going on that interests her!

General Health:
 She spiked a fever a week ago and has been coughing with a runny nose ever since. The poor thing has been a trooper but after a chat with the pediatrician and another fever tonight, she will have to go to the doctor tomorrow. I have a lot of work today but I'm looking forward to spending the day with her and making sure she gets appropriately taken care of. I'm guessing it's an ear infection but I'll let the doctor do the diagnosing.

A little update on me and Joe:
Um. Nobody told us that babies who are in daycare will pass on some serious jermies! We spent the first two weeks of October in and out of American Family Care, Bronchitis, flu, and a stomach bug later we are happy to be fighting only the snots/seasonal allergies. Due to some changes at my office I got to move into a real office with a big window. (Remember that post about being nice to everyone, no matter how terrible they are? Sometimes, being terrible for a long time at work wears out even your boss.)

I know this doesn't look like much, but to be working for a company I really respect, to have the freedoms I have and get a sunny space to work in - well, that's pretty awesome. 

giggles

6.376 months old to be exact...

I love Emmy more and more everyday. 

I didn't think that was possible but it's true. As her personality comes out, I see so much more of her. She is still so sweet and happy. She has moved into a new room at the daycare, Ms. Francis's room and is doing great with the new play space. She isn't crawling yet but enjoys tummy time while the other babies that can crawl smack her feet and bottom to encourage her development. I think that's healthy so I don't mind. Emmy doesn't mind either, not much bothers this kid (this is a Joe characteristic, not mine). 

Her favorites:
1. The jumparoo (BY FAR) this is her favorite thing to do! We call her (inappropriately) the "crack kid" when she jumps and slings herself around laughing hysterically. It makes me so happy to see her like that. 
2. Rufus & Winston. She discovered them a few weeks ago and laughs out loud when they zoom by. Once her eyes catch them in the room, she lunges her whole body toward them, fearless of the ground beneath her. She got a hold of Rufus's hair one time and made him cry but he still licked her once we unclenched her hands. 
3. Hair/people's faces. Emmy just started really looking at people and feels the need to pinch and pull at their noses, eyes, hair, etc to get to know them better. It's painful but I know this is her way of saying "hello". 
4. Her milk. She can hold her bottle on her own every time now. She knows when to expect it and gets very impatient while we are preparing it. She actually eats a little less than most babies and is still 95%… my little chunk.
5. Talking. She is carrying on full conversations although we don't understand it. She has begun saying "daddy" although not in any particular context (unless I think she is saying "daddy, give me a bath tonight" or "daddy, I want you to change my dirty diaper this time". She started referring to me as "cough, cough" because I have bronchitis and she must think that's my name now. She literally fake coughs then looks at me expectantly. I oblige because that's a respectable assumption.

Dislikes:
1. Real food. All of it. She has taken to not squinting so much at bananas and carrots but pears, apples, butternut squash, avocado, peaches, and medleys all get the appalled look after the first bite. I've decided to let the daycare work this out and what do you know… Ms. Francis said she likes it warm with *a little* rice cereal (not too much, don't add any water). God, thank you for daycare. 
2. When Joe and I exit a room. This is a strange new sensation that I have to admit I kind-a like. She likes us now, I mean, really misses us even. When I pick her up at daycare she lights up, big smiles, arms waiving and I usually scoop her up first thing. Today I turned my back to her for just a moment to get her bag and she started balling. I felt so important and loved! Of course, I picked her up immediately laughing a little. She does it at home now if we leave her in her jumparoo and she gets turned around and can't see us. Other times she goes on playing and talking like she doesn't know anyone else is there. 
3. Her teethies. Yeah, at her 4-month check up the doc said they might come in early. Joe and i made bets they would appear early July, then on our birthdays mid-August. STILL NO TEETH. I dislike them too. 

I'm done betting on her progress. Except, I'm betting she'll be crawling in 2 weeks. I feel good about that one with the competition at daycare and her pets always sitting just out of reach. She's not gonna stand that long.

be kind

Sometimes, I think we forget that people have feelings. 

All of us. That person standing next to you in line at the DMV, the boy bagging your groceries, your neighbor, your husband, your coworkers and even your boss. Everyday we pass people and we forget that they are actually people, living a whole life and having feelings. We affect each other. We can't help it, we're sensitive beings.

I got to thinking about how there is this one person I don't like. I think she is selfish and disrespects other people, she is rude, back stabbing and inconsiderate (let me tell you how I really feel). Then I thought about how she might say that about everyone else. How it might hurt her feelings that she is unliked, unappreciated, disrespected, how people talk about her and how, more than anything, she is misunderstood.

Joe was the first man to teach me how boys are human, how they have feelings and can be hurt. My dad was a sensitive man but I was unsure of boys. I didn't think they were insecure like me. My parents told me I intimidated boys but surely all parents tell their kids that. I found out later that I could be intimidating and I liked to do it intentionally just for fun. 

I remember the first time I hurt Joe's feelings. It was our first fight and I had told him he wasn't "man enough" to stand up to the fraternity guys who kept walking through his room while we were watching a movie. He said, "FINE. THE NEXT PERSON WHO WALKS IN THAT DOOR IS GETTING PUNCHED IN THE FACE". Then a girl walked in and he gladly showed her the way to the bathroom. We both laughed and got over it.  After that, I usually did it when my feelings were hurt but I was too prideful to admit it so I would go all cold eyes and say something I didn't mean to get a reaction, to make him hurt like me. 

The thing is, it's not just the people we love that we hurt. Sometimes, it's that bagger who asked about your day and you ignored, it's the elderly man who tries to talk to you in line and you just stare at your phone and pretend you can't hear him. It's your coworker who is always coming up short on their job, sitting there coping with depression and finding it hard to look forward to another day in the office. 

I don't have many bad things in my life. Sometimes I forget that other people do. Some people are fighting real battles and they have real feelings that I can hurt.

I think we should instate a "feelings appreciation day" to remember to be nice to each other. To help one another, even if you are the one always doing the helping. Even if that person doesn't seem to appreciate you. You never know who is standing on the edge of the battle, teetering on the edge and wondering if it's worth the fight anymore. Sometimes it only takes a smile, a small gesture of kindness to give them one more day in the fight. 

5 month photos

I'm not sure captions are necessary - just check out how stinkin' cute this kid is.

I managed to get my sister into one of the pictures... isn't she beautiful!? Thank you lil' sis for taking these amazing pictures of Emmy! 

you NEED this.

Seriously... I bought this on a whim, per this blog's recommendations on making your own baby food:

Boon Squirt via Amazon

In one feeding, Emmy's meals went from water torture (for me) to a regular toddler feeding. I added another variable this time that I can't ignore: I allowed her to eat leaning back on her boppy rather than sitting up in her chair. This was definitely important but the boon spoon is genius!

I loaded it up with 75% of a gerber carrots tub. I squeezed it in and she swallowed it. It went into her mouth and she ate it. I can't explain the joy of something so simple. Then, a miracle occurred: she placed her hand on mine and repeatedly brought the spoon to her mouth, opened her mouth (I squeeze), she swallowed a bit, then pushed my hand back so she could smack/swallow. Repeat x 100. 

I was so excited, hysterically laughing and cheering her on. I just felt compelled to let other people know of this little guy, a red-hot sexy feeding machine known intimately as the "squirtster".

the working mom

A working mom's daily load...

I've been thinking about this post a lot lately.

As Emmy is getting older, she is becoming more and more fun. She is watching us move around the room, she gets excited when we talk to her and hold her. This morning, I didn't want to let her go. Joe was taking her to "school" and I thought about my day and almost decided to stay and work from home with her.

But that's really hard to do. I have a great job, I probably take it for granted sometimes. I basically work for myself, I work hard and all of my work is my own. I try to have a good teamwork attitude and help others where I can but I am not required to be in the office anymore. Oddly enough, I like being in the office. I am good at my job and I know that's because I work hard and I certainly work better without distractions.

Staying at home has never been an option for me. I have the utmost respect for women who stay at home. I know from the short time I stayed home to recover and take care of Emmy that it is hard work. Believe it or not, it's not all watching "Ellen" and the "Today Show" (this is what I was expecting) babies are work. 

Worst of all, I found staying at home to be unrewarding.

There. I said it. Being a mom didn't give me enough gratitude. Does that make me selfish? Probably. 

Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed my time with Emmy but at the end of the day no one had said "thank you" or "great job on that diaper, you really cleaned her butt so efficiently!". 

At my job, I am complimented and appreciated. That's where my confidence comes from: my work. I learned to have a good work ethic at a young age. My mom always worked, she taught us to work too. Sometimes I had wished she would stay home more but that wasn't really until I was older. Especially when I was in middle school, old enough that my sister and I could be left at home alone but too young to go anywhere on our own. I really hated the summers because they were so boring. My parents left for work and Courtney and I spent the day playing dolls, watching tv and cleaning the house (yes, we started the day with a list of chores and had no idea that this isn't what ALL kids did during the summer. We were suckers). 

I'm not telling this sad, sad story to get your sympathy (unless, of course, you are my mom reading this and then yes, mom, you ROBBED me of my childhood, how dare you?) Oh, BTW, can I have 10 bucks?

This is about being a good mother.

I did learn from a few of my parent's mistakes. They got caught up in work. They came home stressed out, exhausted and no matter how much they loved us, we felt their tension and it made us a little afraid of them. We were afraid we might upset them more so we scurried around cleaning the house so they wouldn't get mad. I don't want to do that, I hope to find an inner-peace with a messy house soon because the pressure I put on myself to keep it clean is not worth it. 

My parents were young and they have warned my sister and I about making this mistake. My mom is still a work-a-holic and I have some of her tendencies but I make time for Emmy and I leave the stress at work. I spend my mornings lying in bed with Emmy, watching the Today Show and sipping coffee while tickling her toes. My rule is that as long as she is awake, we are a happy family with no problems. Once she goes to sleep, I'm back on my laptop sending e-mails and crunching numbers. 

To all the working moms out there: it's okay, we are good moms too. 
To all the stay at home moms: thank you, you're doing a great job.

My first day back to work, Emmy's first day at daycare

random story from england

So, this strange thing happened to Joe and I while we were in England on our honeymoon. There were so many fun things that happened on that trip that I'm not sure we ever told anyone about the "strange thing". 

This was maybe the 4th or 5th day of the trip. We had just left London, I think it was maybe our 2nd night in Oxford. We were strolling around and I was looking for an ice cream shoppe I had remembered being particularly good and I kept telling Joe he just HAD to try it. A short walk later, we found ourselves in a Ben & Jerry's (I said it was good, I didn't say it was original). 

We started to walk back towards the College and our hotel, on St. Giles Street and decided to stop and sit on a bench to eat our ice cream and talk. I have, below, a picture of this exact bench:

copyright: wikipedia

As we were sitting there, a car pulls right in front of us (see that little street cutting around the memorial?) and a black guy gets out and runs towards us, his car parked but still running. 

Now, do not think I am a racist because I was scared and immediately gripped my purse. Who wouldn't be scared of a man running towards you in a foreign country?! 

He stopped in front of us and said, "I have to tell you, you are so blessed. I can see it. You are blessed ones. I just, I see it and I had to tell you" and like that he turned around back to his car. I sort of mumbled thank-you as he started to drive off. Joe and I looked at each other and laughed about halos and glowing orbs around our bodies but I'm not going to lie, I was flattered. 

The thing is, the guy didn't seem that crazy. He didn't want anything from us, he didn't give us a religious pamphlet to study and he didn't even reference who his God was. 

When I found out I was pregnant a month later, I thought about this moment and how it had been 2 nights after we conceived. So... maybe he knew we were blessed with a baby? Maybe he knew that we were going to have the best baby in the world and that she would make our lives full. 

I'll never know if that guy was someone special, if he was in touch with God, if he believed in telling people that they were special, or if he was just bat-shit crazy. But I'll tell Emmy this story when she gets older, about how a man found us in a foreign country and saw how she would make our lives special and how important she is to God.

the personality of a name

Emmy & Grammy

For a while, I couldn't explain why I liked this picture so much. 

Emmy isn't exactly smiling and her outfit makes her look a little like a boy (don't get me wrong: I love this outfit). But then it hit me, I love that I can see in her eyes a preview of her personality.

Emmy is the sweetest baby in the world, this is a non-negotiable fact and I have no idea where she gets it.

I'd like to say that we are doing something as parents to make her laid back and sweet natured but I know that's not true. She is just a happy kid and every now and then, like in this picture, I lock eyes with her and I see that she is so much more than a sweet girl. She is going to be incredible, we know this because it's in her name

We gave Emmy two names because I think names have a lot to do with personalities. We chose "Emmy" in part because my boss's wife's name is Emmy and I adore her, everyone does. She is a sweet and strong independent-minded woman. Exactly the kind of woman I would want my daughter to be. But "Emmy" is a nickname and Joe was adamant that we have a "real" name too. I've always liked Amelia until a recent BBC America series of Doctor Who made me LOVE it. 

The Doctor's companion is named Amelia Pond and she is an adventurous Scottish ginger with a quick, witty sense of humor and incredible bravery. I love her character so much and we knew we would be arming our daughter with our hopes for her in her name: to be sweet but strong, brave and maybe a little witty too. 

Oh, and in case you think I'm crazy, I do understand that Emmy will be who she is. That doesn't mean I can't imagine what she might be like or give her the confidence to find the strength to be herself. 

Amelia Pond on the TARDIS.
Her real name is Karen Gillan, my mom's name is Karen so how perfect is that!?

sweet little hearts

There is nothing sweeter than watching your baby grow.


I used to babysit a lot and there was one family in particular (whom I still love dearly) that I babysat for 7 years, long after I needed the money and well into my pregnancy. I started when the youngest little girl, Caroline, was 6 months. I fell in love with that little sweet girl and as I sit here thinking of her I get teary with affection. Throughout my pregnancy I made little silent prayers that Emmy would be sweet and happy like Caroline. 


One time, I watched Caroline and a friend spend hours outside in the driveway selling lemonade. They live on a great street, with lots of walkers and the two were making off pretty well, running in and out to make more lemonade (it was at this time I realized it is good to buy lemonade from kids but not to actually drink it).


After a little while, a boy came up and asked if he could play too. Caroline and her friend clearly explained to him that he could play but he wouldn't be getting any money from them, they had already agreed to split 50/50 and they didn't need him (gotta love a girl who knows her mind). He agreed to their terms and when I called them in for dinner she came in and her friend split her share and left. The little boy walked home. 


After dinner, Caroline got really quiet and sad. I asked her what was wrong and she started crying. She said she had done something mean, that the boy had helped them and she should have shared her money with him. She was so filled with guilt that she asked if she could go to his house and offer him some money. I was so proud of her at that moment. I knew she had been raised well and that she had such a good heart so I let her go. She went to his house and came running back, grinning ear-to-ear. I asked her how it went and she smiled so big that I could see all her missing teeth and said "He didn't want it! He just wanted to sit with us!" and she ran off to count her money again. 


I tell her this story often, so that she knows that she has a good heart and like her parents, I'm proud of her too. When I look at Emmy I know my little prayers were answered. I am so proud of my own little sweet girl and I am so excited to find out who she becomes. 

0-3 month favorites

Favorite Baby Things: 3 Months with Emmy

1. Nap Nanny - Emmy doesn't even sleep in this thing much but it sits on our coffee table in the living room and serves as her lounge chair. She loves it, it's designed to help her keep her milk down and best of all, to keep her content so I can get some things done. 

2. Burp Cloths - These were originally made for diapering but they make perfect burp cloths. They are durable, inexpensive and get the job done. Don't waste money on fancy burp cloths. Babies spit up on them, that's it. 

3. Dr. Brown's Bottles -  I can't say how these compare to other bottles but I don't need to know because these are great. Emmy rarely gets bad gas and even though these are a pain to wash with all the parts, they really do help to keep the air out and they rarely leak! (They are made in a wide-mouth option which I actually prefer but they are harder to find).

4. Sound Machine - I picked this up after Emmy was a few weeks old. It wasn't just for her, it was for my sanity as well. I found myself staying awake, listening for every breath as she slept in her crib next to my bed. If I was able to fall asleep, I would wake up every time she made a sound. We bought this to help us and it turns out it helps her too. She goes to bed before us and wakes up after us, with our banging around and the dog and cat chasing each other down the hall... it's good to know she is in her own little happy world with this guy on. Sad part was that Joe and I missed it in our room after she moved to her nursery. Solution? Keep video monitor on all night, we get the sound machine too.

5. Video Monitor - Joe's dad picked this up at Sams I think. It's perfect. The night vision is great, the B&W screen is large enough to capture the whole crib but still keep enough detail to see if her eyes are open. We keep it charged and running all night, it allows us to watch movies and eat dinner with music playing without straining to hear her and we can always peek at her to see if she's really waking up or just wiggling. I can't wait till she gets a little older and we can spy on her playing when she's supposed to be sleeping!

6. Carseat Toys - These are easy to find at target, amazon and walmart and are great to keep her entertained while shopping. It was also really fun to see her face the first time she realized it was there, it had been hanging above her for weeks and suddenly she saw it and lit up, just staring wide-eyed at her new friend.

7. MAM pacifier - We almost ended up going with the gumdrop/soothie but received this one as a gift and liked the shape better and luckily Emmy took it. They have been great for helping her fall asleep at night or to hold her off when we are trying to get her next bottle ready. 

8. Booginhead pacifier clip - The BEST and only clip you need. It fits all pacifiers (and I mean all - I haven't found one this thing can't fit) and is well made. The price is excellent so I can't emphasize this enough: buy it.


These might seem like really obvious, really basic needs. They are. Babies are so basic. The most entertaining things for her right now are her hands, our faces and the tv. She is happy if we talk to her and let her entertain herself. I will do another Top 5 post for my favorite travel items. I move around with lil' bit a lot and have figured out what I really need and what I can dump because my back is killing me, my hands are always full, and I can't carry one more damn thing.

minute with emmy: 3 month update

(2 minutes long cuz, hey, we've been busy!)

on being pregnant...

I think my body was made to make babies.

My husband will agree, I'm good at it and I'm nice about it too. I was nicer to my husband while I was pregnant than I ever was before. The hormones that make some women nauseous made me love my husband. It wasn't perfect, of course. The first trimester I was exhausted. I was so tired I'd just stare at my computer at work and the act of answering my phone was just too much to ask from me. Didn't these people know I was busy making a human, A HUMAN!? Oh, right, they didn't.


The first trimester is the WORST. Yes, it is exciting, you just found out you are having a baby! But for those of us who weren't planning a baby, the first time you realize you haven't had your monthly gift... your eyes pop wide open and the first thing you feel is fear. Then, you accept the idea of having a baby, you embrace your little gift and then you start fearing that anything/everything you do might cause a miscarriage. And you have to keep this a secret!? These first 12 weeks took FOREVER.


The second trimester gets better. You've told your friends, your boss (maybe) and everyone is happy for you. They will constantly ask you: "How are you feeling?" "When are you due?" "Do you think it's a boy or a girl?" and they will tell you all about their pregnancy and motherhood. Enjoy this. You get a lot of attention, yes it can get annoying but embrace it because once your baby arrives no one will ask about you anymore. And it's okay, you won't care about you either. Oh, and you think your baby bump is completely obvious and you stick out your belly with pride. It's cute and your regular shirts are just starting to get too short. Don't rush into your maternity clothes. You will have time for them.

Sometime during the 2nd trimester, you start to feel your baby move. This is the best feeling in the world (second to holding your baby against your body from the outside). Your baby's movements are the beginnings of the bond between you and your babe. I would walk up to the copy machine at work and feel her kick and squirm and laugh at my little secret. I called her my "polly pocket" because I used to keep my Polly in my backpack at school and pretend to be getting out a pencil when I checked on her in my bag. I liked the idea that I had a friend no one else knew about. That's how I felt about keeping Emmy to myself, Even the meetings at work were so much more enjoyable knowing I had my little girl with me.
Enter: third trimester. Now, every woman is different so understand this is just my take: 3rd trimester was awesome until about 3 weeks before Emmy's due date. It's January but I am HOT. HOT all the time. My whole body swelled. I couldn't wear any of my shoes, I had to keep my feet elevated and at night I slept in almost nothing and kept the air at 65. I would pray for freezing temperatures outside so I wouldn't have to run the A/C in the middle of winter. Two weeks before Emmy came, I had zero stretch marks. I was still just carrying a basketball. The next 2 weeks, I got huge. My face got fat, my fingers and toes looked huge and then the stretch marks came. I was upset, I had oiled and lotioned for months to no avail.

Lucky for me, Emmy came exactly one week early so I avoided further stretch marks. She was small, only 6 lbs 9 ounces so I have a new appreciation for those mothers who take their pregnancies on to a week or more after their due dates. It's just not fair to your body! For a first time mom, pregnancy was magic. I never knew what my body could do, how it could make a little human who is perfect, so beautiful and sweet.

My hormones changed after pregnancy, I'll go into that in a later post. But when I look back at the last 9 months, I feel so grateful for the experience. I am SO not ready to do it again but one day, when I do - don't worry - I'll probably get sick as a dog like the rest of you.